Some thoughts on the Cowboys and the Steelers

Larry Allen launches Greg Lloyd into orbit on Dallas first possession of Super Bowl XXX. 

Anyone that knows anything about football has to have great respect for the Pittsburgh Steelers, the entire Steelers organization, and the Rooney family. They run a great football program. They have a great tradition - at least in the modern football era - and they do smart drafting. And though the faces on the sidelines and on the field change, the winning continues. That is very difficult to do in the NFL and it should be admired. And most of their fans don’t really bother us. They are proud of their six Super Bowl wins, as they should be, and they focus on the Steelers - their team - not their hatred for their opponents, as they do in Philadelphia.

Steelers fans just really love the Steelers. And there's nothing wrong with that.

But sometimes, you will encounter a Cro-Magnon Steelers fan. A simpleton. You know the type. They seem to be obsessed with the Dallas Cowboys in a rather unhealthy way. They toss out terms such as ”Cowgirls” all the time and aren’t even aware of that fact that it makes them look like a complete tool and someone that is still in kindergarten.  (Really, you can't do better than "Cowgirls?" What are you, five?) Also, though the Cowboys and Steelers play in different conferences and rarely play one another, the Cro-Magnons often post stupid memes about the Cowboys on social media. We have never seen a Dallas fan post a meme about the Steelers. We’re usually more concerned about New York, Philadelphia and Washington. But some Steelers fans, for whatever reasons, seem fixated on the Cowboys. Perhaps they have alarmingly small penises?  No one really knows. And, frankly, no one really cares. But trust us: We're not laughing with you. We're laughing at you.

Remember a few years ago, when some Steelers fans, for some very odd reason, seemed to be take great joy in the fact that the Super Bowl was taking place in Dallas and that the Steelers were playing in the game? They acted as if it was some sort of victory over the Dallas Cowboys. It was weird. Dallas has won the Super Bowl in Pasadena, New Orleans, Arizona and Atlanta, but we've never thought of that as having anything to do with the teams that actually played their home games in those stadiums. We've never thought, "Beating the Bills in Super Bowl XXVIII in Atlanta will really stick it to the Falcons." But again, some Steelers fans, for some reason, seem to be quite fixated on the Cowboys.

(The Steelers, by the way, got their asses kicked by Green Bay in that Super Bowl in Dallas.)

Some Steelers fans also really like to point out that they have more Super Bowl trophies than Dallas. Well, for the most part, they always did. Dallas fans can't make that big of a deal about this "most Super Bowl wins thing" because the Cowboys were not the first team to win two, three, four or five Super Bowls. They were tied for most Super Bowl wins for a few short years, but it simply has not been a big part of their nearly 60-year history. Having won the most World Championships has always defined teams like the Yankees, Packers and Canadiens. Not so with the Cowboys. They became the most popular team in the NFL 40 years ago, or "America's Team," simply because they were so colorful and were led by a tough-as-nails, classy quarterback who went to serve in Vietnam for several years even though he'd just won the Heisman Trophy. And they had really cool uniforms.

When it comes to Pittsburgh, the fact is that in one of their most recent Super Bowl wins they barely got by one of the easiest opponents in Super Bowl history (Arizona) and were handed much of the game by dumb Cardinal penalties and a few questionable calls. They also got some "gifts" from the refs in their Super Bowl contest against the Seahawks and there was a huge blown call in Super Bowl XIII vs. Dallas. And yet we've never seen a bigger group of crybabies, when it comes to officiating, than Steelers fans. They've had three Super Bowl wins practically handed to them by the refs, and yet they whine all the time about how the refs are out to get them.

Please, just shut the fuck up. You're embarrassing yourself. 

Yes, Pittsburgh is an excellent, very well-run organization that hires fine coaches, and for the most part - with the exception of their shady "out-of court-settlements" quarterback - their players seem like good guys. But some of the stuff that comes out of the mouths of their fans is just plain dumb. Some, even on ESPN, were debating after they won their sixth Super Bowl if they were the "greatest sports franchise in history." No, that would be the Yankees, followed by the Canadiens. And the truth is they are not even the greatest franchise in the history of the NFL. Both the Green Bay Packers and Chicago Bears have won more NFL championships. Are the Steelers "one of" the greatest sports teams ever? Certainly. Are they one-up on the Cowboys in World Championships? Yes. Are they up 2-1 when they've played each other in the Super Bowl? You bet. Dallas and Pittsburgh have played against each other three times in the Super Bowl. The team that was favored to win won all three. No surprise there. Pretty much the entire Pittsburgh team from the '70s is in the NFL Hall of Fame. And rightly so. Hell, even us Dallas fans like Terry Bradshaw.

It should also be noted, however, that the NFL did not begin with the Super Bowl. Pittsburgh came into the league in 1933. Dallas entered the league in 1960. Pittsburgh went through 43 years of losing and mediocrity before winning its first championship. Dallas, by the late '60s, under the great Tom Landry, was already one of the best teams in the NFL and won its first World Championship during the 1971-72 season, only 11 years after coming into the league. Overall, historically speaking, the Dallas franchise, in the time that it’s been in the league, has actually been better than Pittsburgh.

I've also heard some people say that the Steelers are really "America's Team" because their fans really seem to have come out of the woodwork in recent years and they seem to really get a kick out of waving those cute little yellow towels. But those fans were pretty much unseen during the entire decade of the '80s. They simply vanished. And some people that we know have actually started to root for the Steelers in recent years even though they never did before. They're called "bandwagon" fans. And every great team that wins consistently gets them. Even the Steelers. It's really not that big of a deal.

The reason the Dallas Cowboys are considered “America’s Team” is simple: It's because they consistently sell more merchandise than any other team in the NFL. If you're on this blog, you probably live in Pennsylvania, and if you're like us, you might know more Cowboys fans than Steelers and Eagles fans combined. Cowboys flags line the streets everywhere on Sunday all throughout NEPA. And while some Steelers fans seem annoyed that the Cowboys are called "America's Team," they don't know the facts, and that the Dallas Cowboys did not give itself that nickname. It was given to them in 1979 by NFL Films when the people there noticed that no matter where Dallas traveled on the road, the stands were filled with Cowboys fans. It was like nothing they'd ever seen. And again, no team in the NFL has consistently sold more merchandise, leading to the statistical fact that they are indeed the most popular NFL team in America and have been so for more than 40 years. If you go into your local K-Mart in Pennsylvania, you’ll see a display for Steelers and Eagles merchandise, and a display for Cowboys merchandise. If you do the same thing in Ohio, you’ll see Browns, Bengals and Cowboys. If you do the same thing in Florida, you’ll see Dolphins, Jaguars and Cowboys.  It’s a fact. And that merch wouldn’t be there if it didn’t sell.

And don't forget the television ratings. According to Neilsen, Dallas leads all NFL teams in that category as well. And according to the Wall Street Journal, the Cowboys also mean more to their own home region than any team in the NFL. A study looked at "each team's local and national TV rankings, how often they're mentioned on the Internet and how many visitors they attract to their official websites." And the most popular NFL team is the Dallas Cowboys. And by a big margin: 23 percent more popular than the number-two team, the Pittsburgh Steelers.

We do sometimes hear that Steelers fans "travel well," and it does seem to be true. Their fans like to travel to other cities to see them play, which is cool. Good for them. Following football is supposed to be fun. We hope they enjoy themselves. As we said before, they're mostly good people. But this also seems to back up the old "America's Team" name given to the Cowboys. Cowboys fans DON'T HAVE TO TRAVEL to help fill other stadiums. They already live in other cities all around the nation. That being said, we can also say "Who cares?" We don't know of one Cowboys fan that really gives a shit about the "America's Team" thing. It's fun to poke at people with it sometimes - especially Steelers fans, because they hate it - and it is statistically accurate, but we could really could not care less about who anybody else roots for. The Cowboys are our team and that's all that matters us. If someone hates the "America's Team" term that much, write a letter to NFL films, not Jerry Jones.

Seriously, saying "My team is more popular that your team" seems juvenile, but since some Steelers fans seem to like to take that stance, we'll he happy to weigh in on it. Consider this about the last time the Steelers won the Super Bowl: only 250,000 people showed up at the victory parade. You can get a card game bigger than that in Big-D. And one last thing on “America’s Team.” When it comes to merchandise and television contracts, the NFL shares all revenue, equally, with all of its teams. Thus, even though the Cowboys bury all other teams when it comes to merchandise and TV ratings, the money from that merchandise and those television contracts goes to every team. That cute little yellow football field they build in Pittsburgh? The one named after ketchup? The Dallas Cowboys helped build it.

You’re welcome.

Though it is actually very easy for us to show respect to the Steelers fans, it never seems to be reciprocated. And they've had some bumps themselves over the past 40 years. At the time that we originally posted this blog in 2011, they were actually tied for most losses in the history of the AFC Championship Game and have lost it a record of five times at home. In some of those games they were favored. They may have lost the AFC Championship Game a few more times since that time. We don’t know. And we don’t really care. But it still doesn't diminish what they have accomplished as an organization. The Steelers deserve praise. Yet I've rarely ever heard a Steelers fan say anything positive about the Cowboys.

Some facts: The Dallas Cowboys are considered to be one of the most successful NFL teams of the modern era. They have won five Super Bowls and eight NFC championships. When we first posted this blog in 2011, they have more victories (42) on "Monday Night Football" than any other NFL team and held NFL records for the most consecutive winning seasons (20) and most seasons with at least 10 wins (26). The record of 20 consecutive winning seasons is one of the longest winning streaks in all of professional sports. The Cowboys had also earned the most post-season appearances, a league record of 56 post-season games (winning 33 of them), and the most division titles with 21. They also had the most appearances in the NFC Championship Games (14), and were tied with the most Super Bowl appearances (8). Three Super Bowls were lost by a TOTAL of only 11 points. Even in defeat, they have always played well in the big games.

Since 2011, when we first posted this blog, Dallas has won the NFC East three more times (2014, 2016 and 2018.) And so, when a Cro-Magnon Steeler fan says "Dallas sucks," you look like an idiot. They don't suck. But then again, you also probably say "New England sucks." They don't suck either. 

Again, we're not laughing with you. We're laughing you.    

The Cowboys also played in two NFL championship games before the NFL's 1970 merger with the American Football League. They were also the first team in NFL history to win three Super Bowls in just four years. An article from Forbes Magazine listed the Cowboys as the highest valued sports franchise in the history of the United States. They are also the wealthiest team in the NFL, generating almost $269 million in annual revenue. And, again,  considering how much "revenue sharing" takes place in the NFL, it's safe to say that the rest of the NFL owners love the Dallas Cowboys because they make more money for everybody than any other team.

(Again, you're welcome.)  

We can respect the Steelers, but we really don't like them. And we really love the photo posted with this blog. If you asked for our favorite Super Bowl memory, Larry Allen's block on Greg Lloyd of the Pittsburgh Steelers in Super Bowl XXX just might be it. On Dallas' very first possession of the game, Allen hit Lloyd so hard he knocked him right off his feet. Emmitt Smith picked up about 25 yards on the play, and to this day, the body of Greg Lloyd has never been found. Seriously, all we heard about for two weeks prior to that game was Greg Lloyd and what he was going to do to the Cowboys. And he did ZERO. He got smacked around like a little rag doll. On Dallas' very first possession, he got knocked flat on his ass a few times and never recovered. We mean TORCHED. CRUSHED. POUNDED. HUMILIATED.  We've always imagined the Dallas offensive line breaking huddle on the first possession of that game, lining up at the line of scrimmage, looking over at Greg Lloyd, and Larry Allen saying "You're small." We've never seen a star defensive player totally manhandled like that. Larry Allen, Nate Newton ... they literally hit him like a freight train. It was absolutely beautiful. Savage. Complete emasculation. We think even Lloyd's wife filed for divorce right after the game. Even his kids never spoke to him again. 

(Just kidding.)

Steelers fans whined badly after the loss. Some said, "If our quarterback didn't suck, we could have won" or "Only the interceptions killed us." It was laughable. The play of the quarterback IS a part of the game. They also seemed to take some moral victory over the fact that they didn't get killed and were still in the game in the fourth quarter. You're not supposed to get killed. It's the Super Bowl. You're supposed to play well. We found it all to be very funny. Just as, two years ago, in 2016, we found Dallas’ last-minute comeback at Ketchup Field to be enjoyable. Remember that one? Big Ben gives Pittsburgh the lead with a last minute touchdown. And then Dak takes Dallas right back down the field to steal the win. It was a great day for the "Teflon Curtain."

Again, we're not really a Steelers "haters." We save that for Philadelphia and Washington. But we are pretty good at returning some smack when it comes our way. You post memes. We post facts. If you’re a Steelers fan, we suggest just leaving Dallas alone. We don't think about you nearly as much as you think about us.  What you do does not affect our draft picks, our schedule next year, or what happens when we play the Eagles, Giants and Redskins. All we know is that the last time we played you in a really big game - in the Super Bowl - we kicked your ass.

Don't remember it?

Ask Greg Lloyd.